bobble bobble..

If only you could actually see the bobbling action. Picture it bobbling to the tune of

DUM DUM DUM DUM-de-DUM DUM-de-DUM.

mingers united ii

wouldn't the world be a better place, if when mingers kissed ...

(hermit.)

DUM DUM DUM DUM-de-DUM DUM-de-DUM

if mace windu was a little bit nicer to anakin, he'd still be a jedi. but then i wouldn't have my new theme song, and my future children wouldn't have their designated bedtime buddy (teddy bears are for homos).

i think i'm getting a little obsessed. i completely sympathise with star wars fanatics.

art lessons.

click to kill time

anybody want to teach me how to draw?

mingers united.

its a well documented fact that seeing or being in close proximity to a minger is always unpleasant. the only thing worst is seeing more than one of them, and its hell on earth when they start making out. i have been scarred for life.


will this light saber do for you bex?

its not real so dont go looking out for it. haha.

random convo.

here is a bit of a conversation i had today...

T: that girl we just met... she has a baby. a michelin baby.
L: uhh, what's a michelin baby..?
T: her baby is white and pasty. really chubby. with fat rolls, hanging out everywhere. like the michelin mascot baby!
L: ohmigawd, thats awful!

heehee.

REVENGE OF THE SITH

Star wars, I like. Although the bit where Anakin actually becomes Vader is a leeeeetle bit of a letdown. Maybe they should have blasted out the theme louder and drawn out the speech more. DRAMAAAAAAA.

DUM DUM DUM DUM-de-DUM DUM-de-DUM.

My new theme song (the My Little Pony days are so over). Send it over please.

I know everyone has been going on about how bad an actor Hayden Christensen is but really, to look angry all the time hurts (try staring intently upwards, it kills that tendon or whatever it is holding your eyeballs in) so give him a break. What cracked me up in the cinema was Mr. Palpatine. He is comical. I know you guys haven't watched it yet, so I won't say anything more apart from this: stop sniffing your farts you sicko.

Woo hoo! That cinema outing made me glad (to use they gayest word i could think of). Back to studying tomorrow. But er, what year are the OC kids in? Are they seniors yet?

If I were a Jedi, my name would be Obese-one Kenobese. What would yours be?

ch-check it out.

the oc season finale was indeed depressing. Stupid teen dramas.

But the episode did have the best one-liner of the whole season, when Seth made that Oliver comment.

haha ok goodnight.

Self-pride.

Have you ever farted, and it smelled really bad ... but you just keep sniffing it ... and after a while, you start thinking that it kinda smells good in a really weird bad-smelling way?









No?









Me neither.

whine.

i'm still brooding. but i did watch the OC finale and my oh my is it messed up. anyway, to cheer me up please:

1. buy me a light saber (did you know you can cut a bagel in half and toast it at the same time with one of those?)
2. name your first child 'Shithead' (pronounced Shuh-teed if that makes it any better), as one black American lady did (she did, she really did)

thank you. that's all i need to make me happy.

season finale(s)

i've been watching heaps of them recently.
so far, the O.C was good, america's next top model didn't end the way i wanted it to and tmrw, it's desperate housewives. hehe.
i've been vegging infront of the tv lately.

except, i hate how summer holidays have started (supposedly for me anyway. sorry you two.. esp, becky with exams.. hehe) and there will be nothing to watch on tv. you'd think these hollywood people/broadcasting tv stations would have the sense to synchronise their tv seasons with holiday time, and not within the school year. poo.


p.s. i ate so much today, i feel like a blimp.

Optimistic advice you shouldn't follow..

Dont put of till tomorrow what you can do today.

And if you die in your sleep tonight, you wasted your last day on earth doing laundry, or studying.

Keep your chin up.

Why, so you can look up my nose?

oh snap!

look right.. -------> and scroll down a bit.

Finally got a poll that works.. Voters away. good luck for your exam fat one.

Its one of those polls that are easy to rig (read: vote as many times as you want type) so yeah.. Lil, this might be your one chance to redeem yourself somehow, just dont break your mouse clicking too much.

diligence.

it's make your own quote day, so here is my contribution: procrastinating is the pastime of the inventive. (now quote me. i've always wanted to be quoted.)

exams start on wednesday. the past few days have been me eating and watching tv with my uncle, who watches stuff like antique roadshow and culture express on that chinese channel. white girls singing rock songs in mandarin are fascinating. black guys speaking fluent mandarin and confessing that they feel chinese even more so. knowing how much grandma's teddy bear would fetch at a garage sale, not so much.

in other news: i pulled a muscle tinkling on the piano, my extensor carpi ulnaris i think. it hurts. and i thought those 2kg weights at the gym would be my downfall.

i would have probably left the net earlier (ostensibly to study) and not posted at all, but when i signed in to msn to check my mail (i'm too lazy to type in the hotmail url) one of my friends starting unloading their troubles on me out of nowhere. i love all my friends, i do, but as they say, "a friend in need is a pest".

hmm. i hope this blog doesn't get out.

the moment of truth.

receiving reports cards were always dreaded by me. who knew giving them out would be this much fun..

Posts

Length: preposterous
Quality: asinine
funninininess: nonsensical
originality: anecdotes suck.
fatness: 99.9 / 100
melawnia: 29

Comments

Length: pathetic
Quality: laughable
Coherence: non-existent.

Just not good enough. Definitely room for improvement.

LILEA'S REPORT CARD

told you. evaluation time is here. joblessness is so fun.

POSTS

POSTING LENGTH: meep

POSTING QUALITY:
funninininess: humbug
originality: eeyore
fatness: -56
melawnia: 2

COMMENTS

COMMENT LENGTH: eh

COMMENT QUALITY:
coherence: double-yew-tee-eff

let's vote!

family ties.

exam time is great. i have so much more free time, although obviously not as much as willy, who has as much time as he does crap to post. but i'm totally burnt out from making notes (i don't know how hard core geeks do it; they make notes throughout the year, and then they read them and learn them and memorise and study .... most admirable), and walking all the way back from the restaurant (duck rice ... mmmm), so i'll leave you with a tidbit from my little sister, who is almost as ingenious as i am.

"When a butterfly flaps its wings in New York, it rains in San Francisco.

When Fiona and Alix (edit: those are my sisters) go swimming in China,
there's a tsunami in Indonesia.

Imagine if Becky joined in."

she makes me so proud.

last one.

an exercpt taken from an email from Jan dated April 1st 2003..

"heh yeah this becky is the laziest girl that i've ever seen... she is so unbelievably lazy its not even funny... "

hahahaha. some things in life just never change.

ponder this.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect so why practice at all?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children.

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why learn?

you think this is lame? well, thats spectacular for you. i need to do work, shit.

A random waste of time.

(The following story is based on actual events that never actually happened.)

The other day, I was doing nothing at all, when suddenly I realized that I should probably breathe, else I shall surely perish. So I started breathing.

Crisis evaded.

After breathing for a while, I realized that doing nothing but breathing all day was pretty boring, so I began to prepare for grand adventurous adventures in the mystifyingly unknown depths of which I like to call "outside." I put on my super-sexy outside-going-grand-adventurous-adventures superhero outfit, and hopped out my bedroom window.

I should have opened it first. Bursting through glass is more painful than it looks on TV.

Once I finished picking shards of glass from my face, as well as other parts of my personal person, I leapt into action! Striding at a leisurely pace around the backyard, and through the gate (which I opened first), I was now standing beside my trusty Modus Transportus... The Car (I fail at naming stuff with cool names). With The Car, I can move quickly about outside, and find many grand adventurous adventures for sure! All I need to do is unlock the ...

Unlock ...

Blast! I had forgotten my keys!

My mission of grand adventurous adventures was foiled before it began. So I went back around the house to my bedroom and leapt back through the window (wrong window ... more glass), and went to sleep.

The End!

oh em gee.

six two things you didn't know about me.

1. i'm not a diva.
2. i'm the genius the title refers to.

to be continued..

what's in a name?

So, there i was, reading my bible, until i had to stop. And laugh.

Let me share my newfound knowledge with you.

" ... the son of Dodo". Dodo is a biblical name.

Dodo was an Israelite. In fact, Dodo was part of the covenant bloodline. Now, everyone else in the covenant bloodline (all Dodo's cousins and what not) get really distinguished-sounding names, like Issachar or Gideon or Nehemiah. And then comes ... Dodo.

"I am GIDEON, commander of the Lord's army. The Midianites were just delivered into our hands."

"Dodo. Really nice to meet you."

"That's a dumb name. You're not allowed into my army."

DODO THE ISRAELITE

(highly speculative)

Dodo's grandson was a judge, so he must have been a proud grandaddy. That is everything I know about Dodo the Israelite.

warning signs.

yesterday at work, one of our chairs broke under the slightly heavy weight of a tubby gentleman. and this happened before he had something to eat.
oh dear...

you know that you should go on a diet when:
*you have to buy clothes from plussss size stores
*people handing out free food samples always approach you first
*you break a chair or worse, your bed
*you dislike looking in the mirror
*you totally avoid slim rectangular mirrors
*you open the fridge door more than your front door
*you take up two seats on the subway (now this is just being inconsiderate!)
*you don't have any skinny friends because otherwise walking next to them would make the two of you look like the number 10.

porker.

a while back, mgb suggested the 'porker' exercise for healthy living. it goes like this: see fat person, point, and scream 'porker!'. (now, for all you heavies out there, don't get upset; it's a term of endearment, willy calls me porker.)

however, i feel this indiscriminate use of the word compromises the essence of what a porker is. so, what is a porker?

well, a fat pink thing.
and this only applies to fat white people. because white people come in two colours, pasty pink and orange (not white).
now, this can't apply to fat yellow people, because they look like giant yellow marshmallows with two slits for eyes.
it can't apply to fat black people because they look like giant ..... hmmm.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN PORKER:
you need

• one hungry white person of the pasty pink variety
• ginormous quantities of sebaceous food
• a month, give or take

now, point, and scream. PORKER! PORKER! PORKER! try it at home, kids.

meet bob.

bob is my friend. he is not a shadow, he's just two dimensional.

recipe for funnies.

becky is weak to be pressured into crap, you're the reason for the million teen pregnancies and druggies in the world!

are you fat?
a) yes
b) no
c) i wish i was just fat

are you a member of a gym?
a) yes
b) gyms are for wimps, i work out in front the mirror by myself
c) i cant fit into gym shorts

can you lift 2kg weights?
a) yes
b) haha, please, try 5.
c) my finger weighs 2kg

do you enjoy eating?
a) yes
b) no, im on atkins.
c) im banned from 'all you can eat' buffets.



If you answered mostly A's, you are a porker and this site will provide solace for you.

If you answered mostly B's, you need to dislodge that stick from your ass and come back down a peg.

If you answered mostly C's, well, sucks to be you!

home-made quizzes

hmmm. i want it on the record that i was pressured into this.

are you colour blind?
a) yes
b) no

do you listen to cheesy songs called mama by a gay group of singers?
a) yes
b) no

do you get outraged over colour schemes, even though there is absolutely no difference to you on account of your colour blindness?
a) yes
b) no

do you think you have millions of adoring fans, when you only have, say, one?
a) yes
b) no

If you answered yes to all of the above, you are a DIVA, defined by urban dictionary as: A much overused media buzzword. Usually used by gays or fat women to describe other members of their cadre (and probably william).

funnies.

Why wasn't the ghost popular at parties?

He wasn't much to look at!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

Hilarious!


----------------------------------------------------------

I imagined two invisible men who can see other invisible men staring at each other, and neither one knows the other is invisible, but each man knows his self is invisible, so he thinks he can't be seen, but he can and they stare at each other forever. You get it? Cause i dont. I suck at imagining things.

what an icon.

i think he deserves a a nobel prize for tasty chicken. oh. they don't give them out posthumously. sainthood??

im loving it...

badapapapa..

look right --------->

and piglet was born.

huzzah!

1015 words in under three hours, including time to read and research crap, not to mention posting and template edits. haha. there is hope to finish before 5pm! :)

we have a new challenger..

damn, i think i have found something worse than a porker, its a stinker. thats right, a stinker. im in the computer lab now and its like 9.30am, you'd think people in the morning would be smelling fresh and what not. i dont expect you to smell like roses, but at least dont emit some kind of odour. dood, its like this sour stench, and it doesnt help the airconditioning is blowing her stink in my direction. shit its bad, and its like she's stroking her hair and crap, i think thats the source of this contamination of my clean air! HELP!! i need to be doing my work, im going to die from this reek before i finish my essay. and she's not even using the computer, its like she's just flipping through this magazine. get out of the lab you odourous stinkbomb! i can guarantee its the hair. the smell increases significantly when she pulls her hair or whatever it is she's doing. hope she goes bald too, then maybe it'll save other people besides me. blegh. i feel like puking.

edit: stinker left for a bit, and returned with her friends. i have this theory, ugly people hang out with other ugly people. this could be a record for the biggest gathering of ugly people ever. puking could never feel any better.. urgh. not to mention their spoken engleesh is so powerful leh..

dood.

spelt d o o d, pronounced dude, can food be spelt fude? ahahahha. bex, does this post look familiar?

dramarama.

this morning the mgb core had a long and intense meeting in which we established that:

a) there will be no more drastic changes until after voting has commenced and

b) the blog will never be pink.

thank you for considering my plea for black, but please don't throw any more hissy fits because a) it is unattractive and b) it messes with my world view. (at the risk of eliciting another one ... does the disclaimer have to be bold and flourescent green? hehehe i'm kidding i'm kidding ....)

today, 8th may, is 'tiptoe-around-willy-in-case-of-hissy-fit' day. if mgb lasts until next year, we will be celebrating this.

(i hope the rage has fully subsided, if this post is up too soon we are in for another round.)

fatties united!

don't fight.

fatties have to stick together...


lets settle for the middle.. no green and no black. we should do pink! teehee.

resignation.

i quit from mgb. i thought change was good, hell, it was a majority thing, even lilea and regine thought liked the new look, i spent 3 hours working on it touching it up making it all fancy, and not do my work, instead when i wake up to appreciate my work, i find out its been delted and its just total shit. i hope you saved the template before you changed it all, or else, this is the last post from me. it was fun while it lasted, many jobless hours have been spent at this blog, but there comes a time when you just cant take it anymore, and that moment couldnt come up any sooner for me.

oops.

i forgot about the little counter when i reset the template. my bad.

no change.

i did not find the other template aesthetically pleasing. ergo, it is back to black. i think we should have consultations before anyone takes any more drastic action, like inventing ludicrous names and turning our blog into a green abomination.

the power of blogs!

feedback..

i like.. :)

but why am i fatcheeks?

New look!

Green is the new black, didnt you know?

Some feedback please.

stupid quizzes.

i am not a white preppy person that listens to ashley simpson. (although i do have too many polo shirts.)

i am supposed to be a yellow nerd.

willy, i am still awaiting my prize for guessing what the yellow duck said. i got it on the first go. i am a genius.

(the 'becky is stupid' post does not count, you ass.)

quiz time!

You scored as You are truly Black. Holla! You is truly a black mofo! Get yo ass in a do-rag and busta rap homie! You are truly Black 63% You are truly White 50% You are truly Asian 50% You are Truly Jewish 25% You are truly a Mexican 0% What's your true race created with QuizFarm.com BOOOOOYaaaaaaaaaaaa! You scored as Punk Rocker. Congratulations, you are a punk rocker! You generally like to mosh (which is a lot of fun if you haven't tried it already. Metallica's great for moshing, so get a bunch of friends some hard rock and let the fun begin! All you gotta do is shove each other around!)And fool around. You don't like authority too much (but who does?), and your teachers probably know that by now... ROCK ON!!! Punk Rocker 43% Preppy 42% Skater 37% Nerd 28% Goth 12% How other people would sterotype you! created with QuizFarm.com HE Was a skater bOYY!!

tenth time's a charm.

becky

is

stupid.





this post is dedicated to becky tan. it symbolises the nothingness that she is..

another historical moment..

it was this time 5 days ago that we passed the 600 mark of visitors for this site. right now it stands at 733.. 26 people a day with no publicity is pretty damn good if you ask me. huzzah!

9 posts and counting.

:o

what did the duck say to the other ducks?



you win a prize if you guess correctly. i think i've posted like 8 times in one day, its a new record.

i want..

Buy me one and mail it to me k thanks.

oh funny me.

how to laugh cause im funny.

the rules to laughing at my jokes are as follows...

• laughs must be loud and raucous
• You must rocking back and forth and rolling around
• It must be over something that was not particularly funny
• Foot stomping is recommended
• Slapping the person who caused you to laugh on the back is highly recommendable

Here is a funny picture, now slap me on my back!

actually, its not that funny. i couldnt find anything and the lab needs to be used for some class, hold the slaps!

bumblebeee.

bumblebee, free as can be!

The rules to bumbling are as follows . . . .

• You must have a spherical figure
  
• Must be laughing or smiling at all times
  
• Joyfully oblivious
  
• You should sway drunkenly but not be drunk
  
• Wear clashing or vivid colors
  
• Have a tendency to thump people on the back
  
• Do a small jig at random moments
  
• Hum and sing to yourself

random!

Will you wake silently in spite of a quote?

Make another sentence

This is handy devise that creates sentences totally randomly, especially designed for times when the world seems sadly normal.

bored shitless.

my class starts at 2 and im like stuck here waiting for time to pass. its like god is messing with me just to make time pass slower. seems like i've been stuck here for more than an hour but its only been 15 mins. how gay can this get.. im surrounded by people doing work, and im just, not doing anything productive. well, this is quite productive, but it doesnt really help me earn a degree from uni now does it?

The rules to rambling.....

• Must be inconclusive
  
• It is recommended that it turns into mumbling
  
• Repetitive
  
• Drawn out and long
  
• Topics should follow the four Is* of time wasting
  
• Spoken half to oneself
  
• The ending topic should not be the same as the starting topic

*Incoherent, Incomprehensive, Inconclusive, Inconsequential

Taking these,

might lead to this..

watch this space, there will be more crap to follow this post of uttter nonsense.

in an ideal world..

things would look like this:

look up!

ok, im not sure if you're able to see it, but in your address bar, next to the web address, there's usually a blue E which is the internet explorer. But i've changed it for this website alone. Tell me if you can see it.. its an mgb exclusive!!

edit: im certain you cant see it using internet explorer cause i cant. but i know it definitely works using other browsers such as Opera or Mozilla Firefox. Im so bummed it doesnt work. stupid gay ass internet explorer! AHRHRHHRHRHRH!h1

demerit point.

whether "you got your point across" or not, doesn't make up for the fact that you suck at spelling..

teehee.. directed to noone in particular ;)

i got one too.

i just got back from the gym and i am so exhausted i can't do anything except make a south park version of myself, and it is scarily quite a good likeness.