porker.

a while back, mgb suggested the 'porker' exercise for healthy living. it goes like this: see fat person, point, and scream 'porker!'. (now, for all you heavies out there, don't get upset; it's a term of endearment, willy calls me porker.)

however, i feel this indiscriminate use of the word compromises the essence of what a porker is. so, what is a porker?

well, a fat pink thing.
and this only applies to fat white people. because white people come in two colours, pasty pink and orange (not white).
now, this can't apply to fat yellow people, because they look like giant yellow marshmallows with two slits for eyes.
it can't apply to fat black people because they look like giant ..... hmmm.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN PORKER:
you need

• one hungry white person of the pasty pink variety
• ginormous quantities of sebaceous food
• a month, give or take

now, point, and scream. PORKER! PORKER! PORKER! try it at home, kids.