have you ever...

had that feeling when you can't decide if you are so hungry you need to eat or that if you are so tired you need a nap?
oh, the daily dilemma faced by fatties...

Nerd away!

I start school again on monday. I need all the nerdy strength i can get to try and achieve my goal of the semester which is to actually read my readings. yay.

NERDS AWAY!!

melawns anthem.

okely dokely! this is our anthem, my pigeons. half of it goes against our creed (like, this crazy woman doesn't want to eat lunch) but it's in french so who cares.

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

and again!

Perverts.

Being kinky is when you rub a feather on your crotch. Being perverted is when you rub the entire chicken

chronic cravings.

im one of those obsessive eaters that crave a certain food for a long enough duration before moving onto lusting after something else. i don't think i ever stay attached onto something longer than a month or shorter than a fortnight.
my last fixation was spring rolls. it ranged from thai spring rolls to viet rice paper rolls.. both meat and vegetarian.
and right now, it's crepes. last week i had crepes with melted cheese, portabello mushrooms and tomatoes. during the weekend, it was crepes with icecream and syrup. today, crepes with fresh strawberries and yoghurt. sooo yummy.
are you fatties compulsive like me? ;)

snow snow.

i walked through a snowstorm today .. it was so pretty! although i really do see the resemblance to dandruff.

so gay-bashing week is a bust. willy: i think we should make these things spontaneous.

pineapple tarts! my shipment is making me sick. so i gave the rest away. am now waiting for my chunk of meat to finish cooking so i can eat it. serves 2-3 people, the pack says. serves 1 becky only. wahahaha. arhm arhm.

where are you guys?

weighing out the facts.

"during a lifetime the average person eats about 35 tonnes of food" (oh wow)

"a Hummer H2 could be driven around the world 244 times on the excess calories Americans consume each year" (yes, and thats just the americans..)

being the bigger person (not literally)

so, its times like these that im proud to say im only a sidekick.
racist hypocrites!
hah.

oh em gee!

The TV mystery.

You wake up one night and you see your tv floating. What do you say?



Drop that niggaaa!

Ahem.

How do you drown a black person?

Pop their lip.

*blank*

this post is so full of... nothing.

i just want to break the silence :)


p.s. how are my fat friends?

offline-ness.

I vote royal china too.. Cause i havent been to mandarin kitchen before. I have fond memories of royal china, i played qbert for the first time there, and smashed becky's record. ahha. and btw, im on dial up now, so i'll be online less and posting less, will make up for it when i get my net in working order again. Tis the season to pigging out indeed. i've done so much eating in the last three days its been excellent. I wake up just in time for big meals. wheeeee. Who are you having cny dinner with bex?

joy.

happy cny fatties! 'tis the season of pigging out. time to rate!!

royal china duck pancakes: ARHM ARHM!
royal china dim sum: ARHM ARHM ARHM ARHM ARHM ad infinitum
royal china fukien fried rice (i am such a friggin banana): ARHM ARHM
royal china lobster noodles: ARHM!
royal china steamed fish: ARHM ARHM

mandarin kitchen duck pancakes: arhm arhm.
mandarin kitchen lobster noodles: ARHM ARHM!
mandarin kitchen clams: arhm arhm ......
mandarin kitchen red bean pancakes: ARHM ARHM ARHM!!

i can't tell which restaurant is better. but tomorrow, i will rate wherever i go for the actual cny dinner. tee hee happy happy ...

i don't wanna grow up.

i noticed a group of little kids on their way to the playground just now. and, remember waaayy back when we were kids (in primary school) that brought packed lunches to the canteen? they ranged from transparent tupperwares to the latest tv cartoon characters on lunch boxes. either prepacked by either your maid or your mum.
it seems so long ago, doesn't it? because not too quickly after, we learnt how to count/subtract/add and that deemed us mature enough to get lunch money for the canteen :P

i thought about it somemore... and here is a list of yummy things that we all probably had in our lunch boxes:
*ribena : slurrrpp..
*milo/chrysanthemum tea in those cartons : eww.
*cocopops/ trix in small cereal boxes : wheee!
*those crackers and soft cheese melt packages that come with a small red piece of plastic so you can spread the cheese on yourself : so. so. good.
*mini twisties/super ring packets that were available for purchase from your trusty neighbourhood roti-man : ahrm ahrm.
*flavoured pop-tarts : mmm.

and then, certain things that allowed you laugh at your friend if they had any of the following packed for them:
*soggy sandwiches
*especially those with marmite/ spam
*chinese brewed drinks
*raw celery/ carrots

when did we get too old for happy meals at mcdonald's? :)

dogs are the devils of the world.

can't move.

i make a superb dictator. check out my little dominion now, it's doing so well. flogging is the way.

anyway, following in bobensero's footsteps i started clicking the 'next blog' icon on the top right hand corner, since i am immobile on account of mcdonald's fries making me sick. i found a whole bunch of singaporeans (yuck, must they type in the lers, liaos and stuff; you can practically hear their atrocious accents), some anorexic girl who is posting pictures of her midriff graded by weight (she needs to get fattified), a whole bunch of foreigners, political enthusiasts and christians. and a creepy shrine to mcdonald's. i mean, the cheeseburgers are divine but those fries are poisonous, i tell you. click click click. anyway, the best thing i read was this:

"if swimming is good for your figure explain whales to me."

hehehe. still debating whether i should go for the weekly dim sum meeting. the amount of money i spend on food every sunday is disgraceful. arhm arhm.

pessimists of the world, unite!

i am a pessimist in the purest sense. when people ask me to go out, i ask the question "why should i"? You could be meeting people you dont want to talk to and there is a more of a chance that can you get killed. Cars cant be that safe either, i mean, there's a possibility that it could be your coffin. Call me a pessimist, call me a grouch, it doesnt matter to me. Because guess what? We dont make that much of a difference to the world anyway.

but wait.

maybe i'm in denial, but i disagree about exercise and fatties not going. i am doing exercise to vitalise my 75 year old body (be careful, my fellow fatties). granted, it is ten minutes on a treadmill barely breaking a sweat and i haven't gone this whole week, but i'm just demonstrating the possibilities.

also, the olympics make for some gooood watching.

isn't this such a constructive debate?

sports and fatties.

im not a big sports spectator. infact, i dont even do any sort of sport.

reasons why fatties don't watch sports:
*quite obviously, the sports they show on tv come short of being classified as a form of fatty exercise. it requires so much and too much more than the usual vegetating in bed, flipping channels on the tv remote, using your jaw muscles to chew on food.
*ohgawd, it just gets really tiring watching people run/jump/skip/hop around.
*gees.. someone please tell me, what is actually appealing about seeing people drenched in sweat. it makes you imagine how much the air reeks, especially in the changing rooms. eww.. sweat.
*you get tricked into thinking you should start some form of exercise because what they're doing on tv is nothing remotely close to your daily walks to the fridge for a late night snack or strolls to the closest food places near your house. feelings of inadequancy. yes, just watching manipulates your fatty senses! (imagine if gawdforbid, you actually did some exercise.)
*and not only that, after tricking your fat head in.. you begin to feel *gasp.. guilt. for all the time you overeat, oversleep, overbum. *psh! can you imagine having to feel guilty for doing all the good things you love in life.
*there are so many more entertaining, non-physically stimulating programmes to watch on tv.

one of the main requirements of being a fatty = anti-exercise.
boo to sports/exercise/all things requiring energy that isnt fatty-like!

making a difficult choice.

if you were given a choice of either:-

*ownership to a machine that could cook/bake/mass produce any sort of food you desired at anytime simply by typing your order into the keyboard.. (mmm...)

*posession of a time machine so you could slow down time inorder to enable excessive time to oversleep... (giving you ample time for more procrastination with school, preventing you from missing out on your favourite tv programme or running late to meet people)

sleep vs. food.

tough call.
especially if you are a pig like me :)

here you go.

i don't see how we need a poll when clearly only one person wants to hold the title of favourite/best/top/whatever blogger. which is somewhat strange because that same individual is constantly bugging others to post. hah.

on a totally different matter, im happy that in four days my sister is coming to spend a week in toronto. im especially happy that i'll have access to a whole lot of cny cookies, maggi mee, indo mee, instant asam laksa and curry mix. YUM!
im way past the craving stage... its. been. too. long.

p.s. in reference to posting, its not about quantity, its quality.

And the oscar goes to..

I wanted to do a poll to see who the favourite poster of Melawns was, but the stupid site doens't allow javascript, so here i am forced to do a post, on pretty much nothing. Im just trying to fill up as much space as i can and try to look intelligent, while making the post look as long as possible. Becky, please stay off the food, and sleep less than 12 hours of sleep, you silly little pig. Lilea, you're a loser who's always too lazy to post.

whine. hee hee.

i missed my class again this morning. because yesterday i thought ... i'll be a good girl and not eat so many processed carbs since they are bad for me. so lunch time, i pick fruit instead of ice cream. and then dinner time .... i eat pizza and bread ties and chicken. STUPID! and then i sleep for twelve hours again. i'm going to eat salad for dinner in my own house from now on.