willy forced me to do this. what a willy.

i have a name. i also have a nose. but i do not have a light saber. i want to go over to the dark side, but i have no emotions so it is a difficult process. i do not think that chicken pox scars are beauty marks, and i have four beauty marks on my face. in a diagonal line, starting from my chin to my ear. this is meant to be incredibly good luck if you are chinese, which i am. or am i? i have brown hair. IT IS NOT DYED. but people keep asking me if it is. so you see, there is speculation. i also cannot speak chinese. perhaps i am a banana. or a deep fried porker. but i am le tired (ok, take a nap. zen fire ze missiles! i hope all of you have seen that cartoon about the end of the world). i do not feel the nuclear threat. but i think we should bring back public flogging. i will eat cream cakes while the floggings are taking place. cream cakes are lovely. who invented cream cakes? if there were more cream cakes in the world, people would be superfluous.

now let me sleep.

william edit: your hair is so dyed, why do you lie about such little things, my non hermit friend.